Idle-y Selfish

Day 11

Reality Check:

1 Corinthians 13:5 “[Love] does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered”

True love isn't self seeking…..

                                                      but it does take care of itself!

It seems everywhere I go, I hear about, “me time,” or “mommy time.”

My response to this epidemic of me time….

Me time is over rated!

Before you feel like you need to explain, let me clarify. I know all too well that it is important to rejuvenate, it is important to rest, parents need to have time to unwind/ prepare for the next day, and married couples must have time with each other but....

There is a line between taking care of yourself and being selfish! God tells us not to be idle and he also tells us that there should be a day of rest. (She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Psalm 31:27)  (³¹ And He *said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while.” (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat. Mark 6:31)) I’ve decided to coin a new term, idle-y selfish. I think many of us (especially moms) have become idle-y selfish in the name of needing rest. Rather than trying to explain let me give you a couple of examples.
Idle-y Selfish
Playing on Facebook  for hours, while your children unwind all the toilet paper, become cranky because lunch is very late, and dump the entire toy box out on the floor. You turn the tv on so they'll stop whining and get irritated with every lego you step on. Then when your hubby gets home you say, I'm going to run over to get a pedicure because today has been nuts! I need some me time!
Taking Care of Yourself
After a long day of keeping up the kids and the house, you make dinner. Shortly after daddy gets home everyone eats. You ask daddy and the kiddos to clean up from dinner so you can spend 20 minutes reading your Bible or taking a shower ext.
Idle-y Selfish
Staying up until 1 am watching tv (and not because its date night). You're cranky and in desperate need of a nap the next day. Not much gets accomplished.
Taking Care of Yourself
Staying up late because Toddler is sick and needs extra attention. Not much gets accomplished the next day between taking care of toddler and your exhaustion. In desperation, you ask your spouse if you could take a nap.

I'm not trying to make you feel guilty; these are all examples from my own life!  But I know that if I am to be where God wants me, I have to evaluate my motives. I shouldn't be idle or use idleness for an excuse to claim me time.

When we are evaluating our time spent it’s also important to remember (especially in families) is that there are different seasons in our lives.

There are seasons where you will feel exhausted on a daily basis (maybe nursing), there are seasons where you may be eating dinner on the run, seasons where you don't get a lot of dates with your spouse, and seasons where me time, is going to the bathroom with hands wiggling under the door. There may be seasons where someone might have two jobs, an undesirable job, long hours or maybe even no job, seasons of being single, school, dating, ext. There may be times in your life when you have ample me time, and times in your life where it is virtually non-existent. Wherever you are at, be sure you are using your time wisely and remember that our goal is to serve not to be served because True love is not self-seeking. (See Ecclesiastes 3 )

Practice: Evaluate your time each day. Are you idle-y selfish? This is something I recently was convicted of; I would spend a lot of time on the Ipad, because I was too tired to engage. One night I realized that most of my exhaustion was my fault. I would use nursing as my excuse, but in reality I should only be mildly tired- not exhausted. I would stay up late to "unwind" watching tv, Facebook or scouring the Internet. I wasted my time. Then I felt guilty for being too tired to read God's word. I am now in the midst of making changes. The goal is not to feel guilty every time you opt for me time, the goal is to change habits that cause us to be focused on ourselves- instead of others. There is nothing wrong with me time- just don’t get caught up in it! (¹⁵ Therefore ^[a]be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, ^16 [b]making the most of your time, because the days are evil. Ephesians 5:15-16)
Family Activity: Have your family sit down together and write or draw pictures representing the top ten things that you do most as a family. Be honest. Talk about how many of these things help others. Decide on how a few changes can make these times more service oriented, instead of self oriented. (For example, if eating is one of your things; discuss ways you can help each other prepare meals-instead of just waiting for your turn to eat.)