I need chaos to calm me down.

Life In Theory:
Cover yourself in prayer, stay in God's word and don't let the world rub you the wrong way, let it roll of of you like the water on feathers of a chicken.

Picture from nypost.com

Life in Reality:

I sat at my desk tonight thinking about the fact that when I stand up my hips will be locked and I will be miserable for the rest of the night (due to pregnancy and back dilemmas), for the moment I decided it was worth it. I know later I will think- why do I keep doing this to myself.

Excited about my new creation for Children's Church, I shared it with my husband who was less than thrilled. I'm not sure if he was already in a bad mood or our conversation really rubbed him the wrong way...but it clearly rubbed my hormonal emotions the wrong way and rubbed the tears right out of me until I was sobbing uncontrollably.

It had been a long day, it was a draining day on me before this conversation; the kiddos had cried more or maybe my mood was less tolerant of the crying...who knows. Maybe I was wallowing in my self-pity about not having a car and that some how made me desperately want to go somewhere. Maybe I was just tired. Maybe the stress of life was just heavy on my mind today- whatever it was I suddenly felt completely lost.

I closed the door, sobbed and cried out to God that I just wasn't capable. I was too weak. I couldn't be a good mom (after all I basically shoved cookies down my kids throat every time they cried today, just so I could move past that moment). Despite my trials at church I had my husband behind me and now it seemed after our conversation that I was alone in that. I was incapable of dealing with the stress of finance. I felt desperate, alone, weak, lost and without God. How long God? I can't endure this one...I can't fix it, so what are you going to do?

I took full blame, I just felt helpless to fix it.

 

SQUAWK!!!

Then suddenly Anne the chicken literally flew past my window, a blur of feathers though my tears. A tiny dog leaped in the air after it. Does it matter that the water is rolling off the feathers, if the feathers are being torn from your flesh?

What?! I flew out the room, out the front door and immediately my flood of emotion was gone and I was in, protect my poor chickens from these crazy dogs, mode. I yelled, shooed and snatched up one of the dogs as my husband came out to see what his crazy wife was doing.

My chickens are fine, the owners were super sorry (of course standing face to face with my husband will do that to most people :). And my eyes were dry. I needed that chaos to calm me down. Yes, I said I needed that chaos to calm me down. Suddenly I wasn't quite so incapable.After all I at least saved the chickens tonight.

I came back inside, figured I'd glance at facebook and go to bed. Here's the headline I saw...

“My kids don’t need a SuperMama. They need to see a Mama who needs a Super God.”

Thank God! I am no super mom, I am no super wife, I am no super Christian, I am no super accountant...
but I do have a super God!

I suppose even the fictional super man sometimes frowns and thinks- I'm not capable.

Then I laughed and thought, God will even use facebook to teach us! :)

“But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6

Pride

Life in Theory: Despite my reservations about these types of businesses, in order to support a friend, I'm going to throw a Party Lite Party that is relaxing and fun for all! I'm not sure if this makes me an enabler or a supportive friend.

Life in Reality: I thought that I was capable of rounding up enough people to at least help my friend pay for her kit to start the business. Two days away and I'm starting to realize I'm not so capable....

There are few people in this world capable of actually making money in these...and they are often annoying people. (Key word there-often, not always.)

The phone rings, since your husband has been nagging you about answering the phone when he calls.... you set your diaperless baby on the floor. Dart off down the hallway, tripping over toys and stubbing your toe. Rifling through your purse with no success, you dump it out on the table, and turn it over to see the caller id. Sigh...you realize its just them, and you quickly decide how you're going to word, "I'm too broke for this junk," in a polite way,while thinking- it's only $2 at the dollar store! Then they proceed to tell you that it's half off this month, and if you throw another party, it could be free.

I don't think my friend has this personality; if she does succeed, which I hope for her sake, she does, I don't think she'll be the pushy sales man type. Nonetheless, I picked the candle that promised I would throw a party for her. So much for risk taking ( More on that story another day)

The website says to get 10 people to attend, you need to invite 30. It suggest inviting your hair stylist, your manicurist, and your secretary. LOL My stylist is my husband ( he is free, not always what you're expecting but not too shabby), my manicurist is me, and if I had a secretary, they would be inviting themselves because it would be there job to plan the party :)

But in order to make my friend a couple bucks, I invited everybody I knew. Surely I can easily get ten to show. And that's where my pride got broken....I can't even get 5.

Have you ever seen Faith Like Potatoes? It's a little slow, but a fantastic movie. At one point the man is seeking to throw a revival in Afirica. As the doors are opening and not a single person is showing, he prays, "God please don't embarrass me!" He had made it clear to the town, he could do this, it would succeed. Well in the end God saw fit to bring people to the revival, the man was far from embarrassed. I'm not so sure, he views the party in the same manner :(

As much as I sometimes wish I was my sister or my gram, where people flock to them. That's not who God made me. I'm not a salesmen, the word no is a hard word for me, and my pride-well I'll just have to settle knowing that I'm not the most popular girl in school. But I can know that who I am in Christ, makes up for everything. I will never have the best parties, if we moved across country, my sister would probably be the only visitor. But my security in Christ is sealed without a doubt. He paid the ultimate price and I'm ok with that. Besides, I was seriously wondering how I was going to get my house presentable in time anyway!


As an enabler, supporter you can still support my friend's adventure and order through her website.
Sheys Candles

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. 

Proverbs11:2

Splash

Life in Theory:

Spalsh! I am an education major, before that -a swim instructor....having smart kids who swim early will be no problem!

Life in Reality:

"Mom, look at me swim!" Stryder bellows, as he is belly down in the bath tub. Kicking is feet furiously, soaking the bathroom thoroughly.

Stryder thinks he can swim, Zeke wishes he could swim- both would sink like a rock tied to an anchor! 

Neither one of my boys can swim! They like water, splashing is a great joy, but I'm seriously considering swim lessons. I took great pride in my ability to help every child who has ever crossed my path to learn to swim. I have taught infants to adults; how is it possible that I cannot get my son to let go of my hand without screaming bloody murder?

I thought I would be the perfect mom, from all my nannying, babysitting, observational skills, and education, I thought I knew the solution to every parental problem- and to some degree I did. The problem is, it's like socialism, it looks great on paper.

In reality, you're exhausted, your kids keep eating your power snacks, drinking your water, and no matter how many studies and experts you consult, little Zeke just will not sleep more than 45 minutes. The car will break down when you desperately need groceries, and suddenly jello doesn't seem like such a bad choice for lunch anymore. And then you realize, why not have cake for breakfast- it's just as healthy as a donut!

I may think I have the perfect plan, but then God reveals that he guides my footsteps, and my children's swim strokes! He reveals daily that without him, I am truly nothing. But in him, I am righteous and my children will still turn out great, despite my many failed lessons. His purpose for my children is far greater than being an early swimmer!

But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever   the purposes of his heart through all generations.

Psalm 33:1

Orderly

Life in theory:
Have a healthy, active pregnancy while maintaining an orderly life, and not giving up any of my  "priorities."

Life in reality:
I can hear you laughing, even before I finished typing that last sentence. But it seems like some women do just that. In reality, they probably either have A. Lots of help or B. aren't really doing as we'll as you think they are.

Let me just state that I am a very organized person at heart. In reality, you would never know it. I see it this way-There are two kinds of friends in life. There are those you don't open the door for and invite in, unless you just got done cleaning, and those who you sigh and think, " they already know the real me."

There are some people who can keep an organized and clean home, even with kids. Then there are those of us who when we get done cleaning, hope someone will just pop on by and see how great it looks before you kids wake up :)

We'll discuss the healthy, active part of the pregnancy another day....

But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way. 1 Corinthians 14:40

*note* this scripture is not talking about having a clean home- I just couldn't resist :)

The Blind Shall See

Life in Theory:
Stryder has a serious depth perception problem. The cups hit the floor instead of the table. Feet miss the step, and noses hit the chicken coop wires (see picture- the cage caught the outside and the inside of his nose- a bloody mess)! Well, the rest of the family has glasses, I guess Stryder needs them too!

Life in Reality:
We have an incredible eye doctor  ophthalmologist. He has been doing wonderfully with Zeke and apparently Timmi excelled with him. Let me explain.

Dr. S let us know that typically with 3 year olds, he cannot give a 100% accurate vision test. The problem with a 3 year old is that unless they participate and follow all the directions, he can't be certain about their diagnosis. He can give a close diagnosis but it's rare that he can be certain.

Here is Dr. S's diagnosis: You have a big problem on your hands, you have a boy. You have a bigger problem than that, he is a smart and curious boy. I can tell you with 100% certainty- it's not his eyes! His eyes are great, no problems! His mind is moving faster than his body and you are going to have a lot of accidents!

 Here is a typical Stryder accident. We have a bench at our kitchen table, at the end of the bench is a chair which has been there for over a year.  I had to move the chair for something the other day and afterward Stryder was playing on the bench, walking back and forth and BAM, I hear him hit the floor. As I pick him up, I explain that he has to watch where his feet are going. About and hour later, Stryder is making "tea" at the table and CRASH, he hits the floor again. Stryder what happened? "I fell again mom!" Not even 20 minutes later KABOOM. As I walk in there, Stryder states, "Mom, maybe we should put the chair back."

Hmmmm....I don't know how to react. Am I proud-he aced a test that most kids hardly participate in at his age, or do I worry because he is smart and curious? As he gets out the doctor's chair, he tumbles to the floor...just kidding! But I half expected it to happen. I guess I'm going to have to memorize scripture from last week's post...I think it's pertinent to this post today-

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Bible Gateway

Spreading the News

Growing in Theory: 
We were only 5 weeks pregnant. It seemed a little too soon to start telling people the news of our 3rd child. It wasn't that we are secretive about these things, it's just that people treat you different and it makes for a looong pregnancy!

Growing in Reality: 
I had a OB appointment. I had it scheduled before I found out I was pregnant. Nonetheless, I kept the appointment. Of course, Stryder was with me (as was Zeke, but I don't worry about him repeating things because it sounds like, "arr, baba, goo dadada").

My doctor gave me an ultrasound during this appointment. We had already been talking to Stryder about how babies grow in mommy's tummy. He had seen pictures of how baby looks too. So, when he got to see our baby, he was very excited and immediately asked if he could have the pictures. This sweet doctor printed out extra pictures so that Stryder could have his own!

I explained to Stryder that these pictures are very special, so he should take very good care of them.

He decided that they belonged in his Bible, because his Bible was also very special and he has to take very good care of that too. Proud momma, smiling here :)

Wednesday night comes along and it's time for church. Some of the teen girls were responsible for watching the youngins' during a meeting. This included my Stryder, who had his Bible....

Do I really have to explain the rest of the story? Let me just say, it was a very short lived secret. Which also meant I had to hurry up and tell some "important" family/friends before they heard it through the grapevine!

Sigh....

Psalm 127:3-5 Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.  Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior's hands.  How happy is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.

Reality Jesus in a Car Seat

Life In Theory:
Read the account of Jesus on Christmas, have a meaningful conversation with Stryder about the birth of Christ.

Life In Reality:
Debate whether or not you allow your 3 year old to play with a glass nativity set- after all, we don't want to squelch his desire to learn about Christ. Discuss how Jesus didn't ride in the back seat of a car, that's why the manger set didn't come with a car seat!

I was excited to find Stryder rearranging the nativity scene. I jumped on the opportunity to explain how Jesus came as a baby. Only to be confused as to how to explain that Jesus is God, God is Jesus' father, and Joseph kind of was his dad too! My brother would laugh at me, and point out that's why we are so naive to believe this myth.

But I know the truth and honestly I was a little nervous that I would "mess" Stryder's faith up. But here's the reality-it didn't bother Stryder. It didn't confuse him and he was totally ok with my explanation. My worries were worthless, they didn't amount to anything and could have been a hindrance!

Now on to tackle Santa Claus!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Bible Gateway